Ouch, it has been a while. Well, a while for me as all I seem to do is write. I meant to update this all sooner but I started a task of making my own Christmas cards to send out this year. Anything to keep me busy and my mind busy and in all fairness, I am actually having a lot of fun designing these cards. I will have to post some photos to share with everyone. It is such a great way to relieve some of the stress, who knew that glue and glitter could be as good as Prozac!
Oh and I know that Christmas is still a long ways away but I love the holiday season and maybe I am getting a little to ahead of myself, I have not even thought about Thanksgiving yet.
Things have been pretty crazy lately, crazier than I feel. Can I say that?
I have been having a rough time trying to stop doing routines and the depression has been hitting hard. I feel I am depressions victim and I am trying to not let it all get to me.
I had a few hours out of the house today and it was nice. A visit to the new transport museum and with a few photos and sore feet later I am back home and just in time too because minutes after we walked through our front door it started to rain, well.. if you can call it that. I would say something along the lines of .. The gods were flinging buckets of water down to water the earth, they made a bloody mess!
I should have had a doctors appointment today but I could not stand to see that new doctor again. I never took my prescription in to get filled and I have no intentions on taking the medication. I guess that I am afraid of what she will say to me, or accuse me of wasting her time and the sort of mean things that people can say would be said to me and I will end up coming out of her office in tears. Not that it happened anywhere other than my head. I will make an appointment to see her again next Wednesday and hopefully I can just explain that I appreciate her seeing me but I just don't feel comfortable with her and with her persistence to the medication route and me not being able to feel safe talking to her about my fear of medication that maybe I should try another doctor in that practice until I find someone that I do feel comfortable with.
I don't know if its the whole warning bells or just me being silly but I think that I would like another change in doctors.
Roughly 8 weeks to go until I should be back in treatment. The countdown has begun!