So today was a big day with treatment. It went alright compared to what played out in my mind since my mad cleaning spree that ended in me failing my no dusting for a month task.
If it wasn't for the help and support from my therapist I wouldn't have taken on a slightly different approach to the treatment.
I know that I am trying hard but I also know that I am too hard on myself the minute that I fail anything. I hate failing anything but I am willing to keep trying until I get it right.
I don't want to spend my life struggling to cope with this illness and I don't want to spend longer in therapy than I have to. There is no quick cure but being more strict with myself is a must. No more days where I avoid doing my exposures just because I can't face dealing with the stress and anxiety. It hasn't done me any favours in avoiding doing what I should have been doing. If you see my last few posts you would notice how it really did get the better of me. I just hope that my moods improve and I don't face the extremes of the highs and lows.
I will again about the detail of my treatment that I had today but I will post it tomorrow. I want to give it all a good think about and put a few things into practice first.
Believe me - I know exactly how you feel! I was blaming it on PMS but maybe it's the nature of the treatment and the disorder? No idea. Last week was fantastic for me because I was starting to habituate to my latest ERP homework exercise. Today I got a new one and I'm scared. :o( I hope you are moving forward OK.
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