I am back and in much better spirits. It really is a never ending cycle with these sudden mood changes and I am still learning how to identify them for what they are and I know that I shouldn't let them get the better of me and to take the good days slowly and to take the bad days for what they are.
I am in much much pain today because I over did it yesterday with a rare high energy level! A morning of zumba that totally kicked my butt followed by much needed yoga and then a day of pre spring clean cleaning. I am feeling the pain this morning in muscles through out my body that I would never have known existed otherwise and you know what I am going to do about it? I am going to sit back with a pot of tea by my side to constantly re fill my mug, book in hand and rest. I over did it so I must pay the price!
On Friday I had my doctors appointment. I was open and honest about the problems that I had taking my medication and that I did stop them for 2 weeks. I was not in any trouble although my mind played out so many versions of events of my doctor getting very angry with me and giving me a hard time that I was just waiting for it and when she had thanked me for being open and honest I was in shock and awe! I have a brilliant doctor and she has gone through the medication with me countless times and reasurred me beyond her means.
I felt rather pleased with myself after the appointment so I walked down the road to the supermarket and bought a mid day snack of pain au chocolat and a bottle of water for my trip to the library. The trip to the library had me up most of the previous night in an argument with myself about going and not going. Eventually I told myself that I would not go and only then I was able to drift back to sleep but after my appointment I felt able and ready to do it and I didn't look back. The library and grocery store is 2 minutes away from all of those wonderful books and super polite staff and when I walked in I felt anxious, 20 minutes later I felt right at home with a book on a sofa and listening to the play group that was going on in the children's area which made my heart strings tug. That is another story right there. Most days I am ready to have my tubes tied and other days I argue with myself that maybe 1 child one day wouldn't be a mistake. Like I said, another story for another day.
Slowly I am getting there and there are going to be many bad days and today has all of the makings of a bad day if I let it but I am halfway through Sepulchre by Kate Mosse and I refuse to put it down for any longer than it takes to have a sip of tea.