Tuesday, 17 January 2012

I Don't Feel Like Playing Nice - Or playing at all ... I just don't know what to do with myself

Normally I have it in me to write much much more than this and just like being awake it is a given! But these days I am just so tired and unmotivated and plainly in depression mode that I know that I am wasting precious time and yet I continue doing nothing at all. I just don't know what to do with myself these days!

Just about everything irritates me and it may be because I am not getting enough sleep or because I stopped taking my pills for 2 weeks and now I am back on them but struggling - almost holding a conversation in my head with these little blue and yellow capsules.

And to top it all off I fear having to go to sleep. I cannot sleep and I simply don't want to sleep. I have been having the most frightening and disturbing dreams that I not only scream in them but I am woken up by Nick because I am having a panic attack and this is something that happens more and more. I always wake up with a sore head that later goes forward into a migraine and twice now I have had a bloody nose! The last time that I had a bloody nose was about 5 ..6... maybe 7 years ago!

And to top it all off, with being so moody. I put the tv channel on something that is bound to ruin my day and I sit there and complain and moan about how stupid and pointless and what have you this program and this person is about! If it wont ruin your day let it ruin mine, I seem to bathe in enjoyment out of it for the moment even though it makes me so grumpy!


  1. I'm in the same phase, Maggie. Ditto with the sleep, the bloody noses, the nightmares, everything! I totally understand. I think our mood cycles are aligned. if you wanna wallow together, you know how to find me. LOL

  2. I'm so sorry you're not feeling well and that you can't sleep on top of it. I do hope you feel better soon.

  3. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. I have been there, and I know it feels. I get really irritable and "complain-ey" when I am depressed. Hang in there. Write when you are able.


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