I need to try this again. I made an attempt to start a post once I got home from my doctors appointment today and instead I found myself in the kitchen, sleepy eyed and attempting to make a quick lunch and a hot chocolate that turned into two. Once I had my lunch I logged on to the computer and found myself falling asleep. I shut down the computer, put the electric blanket and tv on in the bedroom, pjs and before I knew it I was out like a light. It has been a few hectic days in a row and it has left me feeling drained.
It all started on Wednesday, I was feeling rather anxious about Thursday because I was having Nicks cousin over for coffee and cakes and to finally meet her baby girl (who is just beyond adorable!) When Nick got in from work on Wednesday night we went down to his grandmothers to check in on her as she has caught that terrible viral infection that has been going around. I was very nervous about just leaving the flat but even more nervous about being around someone who I know has a cold but I was more concerned about her health than to stay away. I armed myself with flowers and home baking and we set off. The visit went well and despite her feeling so unwell she took time to ask me how I was feeling and encouraged me to keep on trying to go out and get my life back because it would be terrible to waste it away. She is such a lovely woman.
Once we had walked through the door, our cat Archie was licking his backside. This may sound pretty disgusting but he had been doing it just about non stop for days and we just assumed that he was being perverted as he is sometimes a bit of a randy cat! Anywho, we just happened to notice a lot of fur missing off of his back end, swollen and red and we did not hesitate but contacted the clinic and took him in. Thankfully it is nothing serious and an injection and a check up on the following day should be sufficient. Ever since I have struggled to stop washing my hands and within two days they are awfully dry and cracked and if I don't stop soon they will end up in the same state as last year when they would not stop bleeding.
That night when we could finally call it a night I was beyond tired. A painful kind of tired but my mind racing and not being able to drift off. Once I did manage to fall asleep I stayed in bed and slept in that morning. Nick had to make his own lunch for work that day and once I woke up at 10am I felt rested. Not refreshed but able to start my day.
I had Nicks cousin over and I was very excited but a tad nervous and I felt like I could not stop shaking throughout the visit! I held the baby and carried her around and I remembered just how much I love babies! I would freak out my husband if I carry on about babies so I will stop here on that! I had a really nice chat with her and I hated for it to end and I will be quick to invite them back in the new year! Like many things I worry about, it is nonsense to worry about. I was able to talk about my breakdown and my OCD and I felt comfortable talking to her about it and she showed nothing but concern and support and I am left thinking that if only more were even as half as understanding and kind then there would be no stigma left when it comes to mental health!
That night we took our kitty, Archie, back to the vets and it went well. Another injection and he should be all healed up in a week. Thankfully. I love my little man even though he is a devious cat who is always getting into trouble! We stopped in to visit Nicks grandmother on the way home and Archie had a little walk around her home and after a nice visit we drove down to Nicks parents and had a little visit with them and again, Archie had a little walk about their home and my mother in law was no where near impressed as they don't have pets and they don't really let any animals in the house. Just glad that Archie was well behaved and didn't leave any messes on their nice carpet! Instead he made himself comfortable on the couch beside Nicks father and the drugs must have kicked in because Archie was fast asleep. I don't think that Archie's good behaviour will be in his favour for a second visit and maybe he should have left a little something for them. haha.
It was very late getting in and it was another night of feeling painfully tired and I had two doctors appointments to look forward to the next morning! My post hardly finishes here. No, don't be silly. When I say hectic I mean hectic!
I had two appointments this morning. The first with a nurse for my asthma check. I seem to have it under control but with the cold weather I should expect to need to use my inhaler more often. 40 minutes after that appointment, thankfully in the same clinic, I had my next appointment, my weekly with my doc. Thankfully I had my kindle and I got a good start on A Christmas Carol. The 40 minutes went by quickly and before I knew it I was in the doctors office and talking a million miles a minute about my hectic days and I was feeling good, I was cheerful and feeling a bit more 'normal' and my doctor said that she has never seen me in such high spirits but she did warn me that because of the events it would be more of an adrenalin and not to get upset when I start to feel tired because I will feel tired and it may last several days and that is perfectly normal and OK and I have done really well already and to take it easy and not to push myself.
Once I left the doctors I started my walk back home. It takes me about 25 minutes to a half an hour to walk home. I started to think that maybe I would just go straight home and have lunch but I quickly told myself no and that I was going to go down to the canal. The snow made everything look so beautiful and I wanted to enjoy it while I can. I would regret not doing it but I wouldn't regret doing it! So with a little detour on my way home I walked down the path to the canal and I was greeted by two beautiful swans, a man with a dog and as I reached into my bag to get out the camera the swans came my way, they must have thought that I was bringing them bread. The man joked that I arrived just in time and I laughed and said how disappointed the swans would be because I had no bread and just wanted to get a photo of them! We laughed and talked about the snow and then we parted. One thing I never do is talk to strangers and yet I managed it and it felt natural and I was not nervous. One for the books, I must remember this day!
I walked along the canal, snapping lots and lots of photos and I was still walking in the direction of my flat but instead of taking the path down when I reached the path to the top of the street I kept on going. I was in no rush and I walked slowly and I enjoyed the crunching of the snow, the cold air and the scenery. I must have stayed out there for half an hour and I loved every minute of it. I am so so so very proud of myself for the last few days and the walk along the canal would be the best way to finish off a good day with a good nap under many blankets and if I have another good day tomorrow than that is great, however, if it is not so great, well then that is perfectly fine I will just rest!
I will upload the photos once I am rested. I think that I am going to retire to my bed any moment and switch that blanket back on.