Tuesday, 13 December 2011

I Tried I Didn't Fail .. Even though I didn't quite make it out the door.

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."
Johnny Cash

Okay, so I didn't quite get out of the house yesterday. I was close, so close but it just didn't happen but that is okay because I tried. I had it in my head to go out, gave myself some tasks to do and this time I refuse to look at it at a failure. I attempted it and that counts for something and it doesn't mean that it was my last chance. I will have many more chances to try, but not for the next few days as we are back to having bad weather! 70mph winds, hailstones and apparently lots and lots of snow over the next few days. But once the snow and wind stops I am going to try to get out there, wrapped up warm and go for a walk along the canal since it has been months and months and months since I was last down there for a walk, despite it being right behind our flat.

I want to see the snow covered trees, the frozen waters and hear that lovely crunch crunch crunch of the snow beneath my feet and then to come home and have a mug of hot cocoa, it will never taste as good as it does when you come in from the cold! I didn't quite fail, I tried and I am proud of that and I am going to keep trying.

This is the time to curl up with a blanket on the couch, a mug of hot cocoa and a good book, or my proudly owned kindle with over 300 books .. I lost count after 300. I am a book addict, is that healthy? I am sure it is somewhat healthier than my chocolate addiction.


  1. I am so happy for you that you tried. I am also happy that you are proud of yourself and being kind to yourself and not calling yourself a failure! That is a HUGE thing! Negative self talk goes hand in hand with all this anxiety and OCD so the fact that you were able to talk nicely to yourself is wonderful!

    You are so right about the fact that you WILL get back out there someday. Just take baby steps. I think yesterday was a great step in the right direction.

    By the way, I love that Johnny Cash quote!

  2. What Elizabeth says. And i'm a book addict too. i've registered on goodreads and have managed to find over 800 books or series of books that i have read. I'm trying for 1000 :). (and no, i didn't count ALL the Nancy Drew / Bobbsey twins books i've read ).

    One thing you might try in your adventures to get outside is to think of something really fun you want to do (like walking by the river, as you mentioned), rather than going to do 'tasks'. Your desire may easier overcome the dread of doing it, than just checking off jobs that are now done. However, congrats for trying! Getting ready and thinking about getting out the door is an exposure in itself, so it is a HUGE success!

  3. Thank you Elizabeth and Karin, anxiety is just a pain in the backside isn't it! It is hard to not talk down to myself and call myself a failure over it but I am constantly telling myself that I tried and that is a step forward, especially since for so long I just stopped trying.

    Karin, I am on goodreads too, it has some great book suggestions and I like seeing what others read too. I am envious! that is a lot of books to get through! You must be a brilliant reader!

  4. Hi Maggie,

    I joined Good Reads a few weeks ago. Would you like to be friends on there?

    My profile is: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/7098916-elizabeth

  5. Any time you try, it is a success. Failure is not even attempting. I'm so happy for you and so proud of you for your attempt and your attitude. : )

    I'm on Good reads, too!

    I'm still working my way up to 300 read. I know I've read many more. They're just not added yet. LOL

  6. Maggie, Kudos to you for making the attempt. You're right, that is part of the battle. That is part of the process. And I agree with Elizabeth--good for you for not getting negative about it.
    I will have to check out this Good Reads. I'm a total bookworm. And I don't think book addiction is harmful at all, by the way! :-)


Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.