Thursday 8 September 2011

Holidays & OCD - OCD... Can you stay home and feed the cat, but can you also give him fresh water.. the mother in law forgot to last time and its really important if you do... Actually.. never mind I think I will just stay at home too.

Sometimes I am just not sure what to say in my blog, so those days I tend to not write. If I do write it ends up a rambling dribble and it goes straight to drafts and I forget about them until I look through older posts. I am still to look through older posts that have not been posted, maybe there is some sense to what I wrote but it might need to be spruced up a bit.

Anyways. I do have something to say in this post. It was my last post that made me think about the subject of travel. It can be difficult to travel with your ocd. Travelling with your ocd is like going on holiday with your enemy, that or a friend who turns out to be beyond difficult and ruins the entire trip. It can be hellish but somehow I managed to travel to Scotland several times before I made the move over and 5 years later I am a resident and soon be be citizen. Not one regret but I would regret it if I never tried.

I had a determination to spend my life with who is now my husband and with myself living in Canada and he was an ocean away. The years of distance and visiting each other on average twice a year was just not enough, we always wanted and needed more time but there was always a flight to catch and it was emotional torture and if I didn't get on that plane and fly over I wouldn't have been able to see my love. I know 'my love' sounds cheesy to some, but to explain what I believe love is, for me anyways is that person. He is my love. My soul mate, my reason for being, my inspiration. If I go on writing about him I will never finish what I started to write about.

If I let my ocd win I would have missed out on what are memories are now. I struggled with my ocd, especially every time we were on a plane travelling across the ocean and every time we had to leave each other. Every 'what if' was a nightmare that in my mind would end in death. Maybe I can't take my relationship for granted because of my ocd? I don't think that relationships should be taken for granted but that should be my own decision, not my ocd side of the decision.

I have had many amazing experiences. Slowly I have travelled and I think that the next few sets of post I will write about the places we have been. Sometimes I couldn't get out of the hotel room and most days I had to rush back to the room but there were a few hours here and there that I really did enjoy myself and it was when I wasn't trying to enjoy myself that it just happened on its own.

5 comments:

  1. Hi Maggie,

    Your blog really inspires me-- even when you write about the hard topics. I like your honesty. I hope you write whatever you want whenever you want even if you think it is rambling dribble, for it could really touch someone.

    Travel is one of the most stressful things for me. I often say, if I could magically blink my eyes or snap my fingers and be in the British countryside, that would be perfect!

    My supervisor has told me so often about Yorkshire and her visit to the Bronte's parsonage-- I have even gone on google streetview and "driven around the hills and dales of Yorkshire."

    You really are brave to not let your OCD stand in the way of your love! I don't know if I could have been that brave in my early 20's to travel across an ocean for my love! I'd like to think I would but I know in reality, it would have set me over the edge.

    I completely agree with you in your comment to me in your previous post-- I should't let OCD win, should I?

    Perhaps if I ever come to the UK, we could have a cup of tea?

    Elizabeth-

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Maggie,

    Your blog really inspires me-- even when you write about the hard topics. I like your honesty. I hope you write whatever you want whenever you want even if you think it is rambling dribble, for it could really touch someone.

    Travel is one of the most stressful things for me. I often say, if I could magically blink my eyes or snap my fingers and be in the British countryside, that would be perfect!

    My supervisor has told me so often about Yorkshire and her visit to the Bronte's parsonage-- I have even gone on google streetview and "driven around the hills and dales of Yorkshire."

    You really are brave to not let your OCD stand in the way of your love! I don't know if I could have been that brave in my early 20's to travel across an ocean for my love! I'd like to think I would but I know in reality, it would have set me over the edge.

    I completely agree with you in your comment to me in your previous post-- I should't let OCD win, should I?

    Perhaps if I ever come to the UK, we could have a cup of tea?

    Elizabeth-

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope that you do pack up your suitcase, be sure to bring warm clothes, even if you were to travel in the summer! The weather is forever changing, one minute sunny the next moment it can be torrential rain! Well, in Scotland anyways :)

    I can't see a problem with meeting up for a cup of tea, I would make an excellent tour guide too!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awesome! I will let you know if I ever get over there :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hopefully my next posts of my travels and photos pushes you on that plane :)

    ReplyDelete

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