The lack of posting on my part is in a way a 'good thing' Although I have missed writing my blog I am pleased to announce that I have been out of the house 4 days in a row so far. I know that for some it can be hard to understand how incredibly hard it is for me to leave the house but I often do feel cabin fever and it has been nice to get out of the house and even for a couple of hours it is progress. The anxiety involved in leaving the house isn't so nice and I have to admit that anxiety makes me feel very very tired. I don't know what I would prefer more most days, cabin fever or more than the usual amount of anxiety!
My appointment with my doctor had gone well today. She was so pleased to hear that I have made it 4 days in a row in getting out and that I was able to talk to her not about my fears in taking medication but reasonable questions that anyone would feel the need to ask, I asked. I wasn't reassured with her answers in any way but I was given a chance to express my concerns on a rational and reasonable level. Not long after though my fears started to show and I had every what if scenario on the table and my doctor soon told me to slow down, as my what ifs are things that could or very well couldn't even happen and they would be in the upcoming months and reminded me that it would be better to deal with them at the time instead of trying to deal with something that has not even happened, if it happens. That is something I need to remember!
So, as promised. I have photos of previous holidays. Unfortunately my ocd decided to tag along with us on our entire trip. I just wish that I knew its trick for getting out of paying for a seat on the plane, that and it just would have been nice if my ocd booked its own room and gave my husband and I some alone time!
Other than trips to Scotland to visit my husband, and I will post photos from those trips. I thought that the first one to post would be our trip to Amsterdam. The first city in Europe that I had a chance to explore.
We were only away for a short weekend. I wish that we had more time. I really did underestimate how much there was to see and do. Definitely somewhere I would love to visit again. These photos were taken just over 5 years ago. It is a great reminder how quickly time passes us and we should not waste an opportunity. I would regret the majority of my life if I let ocd win all of the time.