Friday, 16 September 2011

4 Days Without Cabin Fever

The lack of posting on my part is in a way a 'good thing' Although I have missed writing my blog I am pleased to announce that I have been out of the house 4 days in a row so far. I know that for some it can be hard to understand how incredibly hard it is for me to leave the house but I often do feel cabin fever and it has been nice to get out of the house and even for a couple of hours it is progress. The anxiety involved in leaving the house isn't so nice and I have to admit that anxiety makes me feel very very tired. I don't know what I would prefer more most days, cabin fever or more than the usual amount of anxiety!

My appointment with my doctor had gone well today. She was so pleased to hear that I have made it 4 days in a row in getting out and that I was able to talk to her not about my fears in taking medication but reasonable questions that anyone would feel the need to ask, I asked. I wasn't reassured with her answers in any way but I was given a chance to express my concerns on a rational and reasonable level. Not long after though my fears started to show and I had every what if scenario on the table and my doctor soon told me to slow down, as my what ifs are things that could or very well couldn't even happen and they would be in the upcoming months and reminded me that it would be better to deal with them at the time instead of trying to deal with something that has not even happened, if it happens. That is something I need to remember!

So, as promised. I have photos of previous holidays. Unfortunately my ocd decided to tag along with us on our entire trip. I just wish that I knew its trick for getting out of paying for a seat on the plane, that and it just would have been nice if my ocd booked its own room and gave my husband and I some alone time!

Other than trips to Scotland to visit my husband, and I will post photos from those trips. I thought that the first one to post would be our trip to Amsterdam. The first city in Europe that I had a chance to explore.

We were only away for a short weekend. I wish that we had more time. I really did underestimate how much there was to see and do. Definitely somewhere I would love to visit again. These photos were taken just over 5 years ago. It is a great reminder how quickly time passes us and we should not waste an opportunity. I would regret the majority of my life if I let ocd win all of the time.


  1. Oh Maggie! I am so glad you made it out of the house 4 days in a row! You must be so proud of yourself. That really is a great accomplishment.

    Okay-- I cracked up when I read about how you wish that since OCD tagged along that it had gotten it's own hotel room! And how in the world did it get out of paying for it's own seat! I never thought about it like that but it really is the way OCD seems, isn't it? I wish it had stayed home and let me go on my vacation this summer :-)

    Wow. Those pictures are amazing! I love the way the bricked streets look! I didn't know that Amsterdam had water in place of some of its streets. Is it rather like Venice in some areas?

    And by the way, anxiety makes me very tired as well-- after it has me all hopped up on adrenaline, that is.


  2. Just read a bunch of your posts. This was one of the many lines that grabbed me. "I always felt so alone before I met others who are in the same boat and now I have this whole new world and it is a wonderful place that also gives me some peace and quiet now and again." There is nothing like knowing you are NOT alone. It certainly helps me.

    I applaud you on your travel efforts! It is so hard, but there are just too many great life experiences to be gained from travel. I totally get that feeling of being scared to death and at the same time enjoying being someplace amazing. I'm surprised we don't just all explode from the cognitive dissonance :)
    Adventures in Anxiety Land

  3. Hey Elizabeth

    It is a shame that you didn't get a summer vacation this year, it would be great to set a goal to have one next year and be sure to tell your ocd to stay at home!

    There are lots of canals throughout Amsterdam, it felt like there was one along the side of every street. There are boats along them, even some as homes, which seemed so interesting! There is also boat tours that you can take along the network of canals.
    Not many cars at all, a lot of bicycles, the streets are just to narrow for cars, for a city the air actually felt and smelled ok!

  4. Hey Blue :)

    I wish that I have met other sufferers years and years ago. I can't help but wonder where I could have been today, if things could have been different BUT! I am very very grateful to have met other sufferers in my life now. Better late than never but I have to laugh at my ocd, for it has been the matchmaker to many great friendships to others that I may have not have met along the way!

  5. Hey Maggie-

    I should have clarified-- I did have a summer vacation this year but it didn't feel like one, for my OCD was in high gear the whole time.



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