Tonight after Nick got home from work we went out for a short walk along the canal that is behind our home. The cool crisp autumn air is beyond amazing, I love the way it feels on my skin and it cheers me up, despite the reason behind needing cheering up! The cup of tea that I will have after this post will taste that much nicer, tea and coffee, especially coffee seems to taste better during the cold months.
I wanted to post some photos to share of the day out that we had a couple of weeks ago. The train journey wasn't long, about a half an hour and it was dry and I didn't think that it would stay dry for the entire day but it did. We spent a few hours in Balloch and went on a boat for a two hour cruise around the islands around Loch Lomond. These sort of trips are rare to take at the moment, few and far between and after the first couple of hours of crippling anxiety that made my legs feel like they would stop holding me up at any time, my face feeling numb and my body trembling I began to slowly feel comfortable and after the first hour on the boat I started to feel like I was enjoying myself. Maybe because the last hour on the boat was the hour it took to return.
I wasn't completely okay with the idea of being on a boat for two hours with not being able to just get off at any time! The more that I thought about it the more I began to panic. I also hated to use a public toilet, even though it was a pay one that cleans itself after every use. I still cried to myself while trying to pee and that only made me take longer to go. It wasn't paying for it that made me cry, it was every idea that the OCD put into my mind and played it over and over like a broken record.
If it wasn't for the support of my husband I don't think that I would have made it out of the house that day and if he wasn't there to offer me the support that I needed I don't think that I could have had this kind of day out. I don't mean 'support' as in 'reassurance' He is well aware that reassurance isn't going to help and he can be a bit harsh with me at times but I know that its for my own good but it doesn't always stop me from putting up a fight at times. Anyways, before I carry on rambling.