Tuesday, 4 December 2012

This reflection isn't so bad after all. I think.

These last few months have been hectic with all that has been going on and more so in my mind than going out and doing 'stuff' that I should be doing.

It has all been one big reflection and realisation, almost like an eureka moment that I have been waiting and waiting for and the moment I had it was when I went out looking for it and pressured it with my questions. Alright, so that eureka moment was in my head all along.

I have this big goal written out, its set and it is going to get there but only by taking it as it comes each day (even though I am a control freak and will struggle if anything changes, that I will have to change too, well, to keep me sane-r)

I have ignored my blog, mainly having nothing positive to say and without making any visible progress, how could I write anything that wouldn't be me venting. I understand that it is alright and healthy to vent but I don't think that it is healthy and alright for the people around me if I am always venting. I need to vent to myself and ask myself some pretty tough questions and well, I have asked them and I think that I got some answers. They may not be solid answers but its more than what I have had in years.

I know what I want and I think that I know how to work my way into that life I spent all of my living life dreaming of achieving. I think that my blog has a chance to turn around completely with an actual progress. Its going to be a pretty uncomfortable few weeks and my anxiety is going to fight me on everything and I am not prepared for it at all .. I think I will only be prepared for what my anxiety and ocd together can throw at me once I have endured a few weeks of tiring exposure. Oh, and I have a doctors appointment on Friday coming and then another appointment but this time with my psychotherapist next week and I am attempting the appointment without my husband coming along.


  1. Glad I came across your blog, Maggie. Such inspiration. I wish you nothing but the best and look forward to reading your future posts. While I don't suffer from OCD, I do suffer from anxiety, so I know how it feels to want to be more than we settle for. You can do whatever you desire; and I know that you'll overcome your OCD with the help of a little perseverance and determination!

  2. I agree, exposures can be so exhausting. Keep on plowing through, and use your blog however you want, for venting or connecting or whatever brings you some peace and relief.
    Adventures in Anxiety Land

  3. I agree, exposures are exhausting. I have anxiety whether I am doing exposures or not so for me I guess I came to the realization that I may as well do an exposure and suffer the anxiety in hopes that it will be helpful for me down the road if that makes any sense. I wish you peace and relief as well and look forward to reading your blog.


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