Monday, 16 April 2012

Who Needs Drugs - Not me, but I should try to take my prescribed stuff more often

I could be bitter. I have what seems to be a sinus infection that has teamed up with my OCD and they are trying to make my life hell. *Trying* Everyone gets sick, everyone, so I keep telling myself! It just happens that the day last week that I willingly left the flat to go to the library and meet Nick off of the train and got a few messages just happened to be when my throat felt roughly dry and I started to sniffle. No sooner than my return home it was in full force and I should have stockpiled tissues.

Now, I can handle a migraine, what I can't handle is the common cold! I have resorted to taking cold and flu tablets but because of that I just cannot feel comfortable with taking my Fluoxetine, as if taking a couple flu tablets and my prescription tablets will make a deadly cocktail. As if, but my OCD is telling me otherwise and I just cannot risk it.

So, 3 days or so without my Fluoxetine hasn't been entirely bad. I have been so caught up with being tired and struggling for breath that my very own symptoms of madness barely get through to me, that or I am just too tired to give it any attention but just wait until I am on the mend, I will be forced to give it my full attention and I am sure that it will threaten me like it has never threatened me before.

Although .. and this is where I need to be somewhat serious. I don't think it is because I have been off of my Fluoxetine for 3 days that I am experiencing hallucinations. I have been experiencing these hallucinations for many many years. Since my early teen years to be quite honest! It is nothing new but new for me to speak to the professionals so bluntly about it. I know maybe 90% of the time what is real and what isn't and when I am so certain is real to be told its not only leaves me in a state of confusion and then I just get on with things. This morning I knew that the giant crow standing in the bedroom wearing a pirate costume and laughing while the walls closed in around me were just a hallucination. I shut my eyes, I looked away I looked back and it was still there for a little while. After looking away a few more times it must have got the hint and flew back to its ship. Afterwards I joked with Nick, who needs drugs, all you need is an illness of the mind and you are set up for life with laughs and the most random things that you will ever see in your life, and all for free and no ill effects ..other than losing your mind - of course!

Oh, and an update on my writing a book, I am still slowly getting there but with every pause to blow my nose and wash my hands has taken up more time than I would have liked. I have barely wrote a thing all weekend but I have been keeping track of all my ideas. I more of less have the middle written out in my head but I need the beginning and and ending still .. and I need to put it where others can read it .. since people aren't really mind readers ...


  1. I love your humor about maddness and not needing drugs for a life of laughs.

    I get so OCD when I get sick. I have to wash my hands and disinfect everything I touch every time I blow my nose which is a lot. The result is a lot of stress and incredibly dry hands. I make myself crazy when I'm sick.

    I hope you feel better soon and I am so proud of you for working on a book :-)

  2. Hi Maggie. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly right now.

    Can I offer a little unsolicited advice? It's only because I care. I'm certainly no medical professional, but I suspect it's really not good to just stop taking your medication like that. I also don't like taking additional medications when I'm sick. However, if I feel I need to take cold or allergy medication or something like that in addition to my OCD meds, I will call a pharmacist first and ask them if the combination of all the meds will be a problem or if it's ok to take them all. I don't know what you call pharmacists in the UK, but I'm assuming you have a similar type of licensed professional who dispenses meds. OK - I'm done!

    On another note, I'm so happy for you that you're working on your book. Keep up the good work and get better real soon!

  3. I know what you mean... I avoided taking any kind of medication for my OCD because I didn't want the side effects and did not want them interfering with other medication. I have found a lot of great ways of coping with you OCD at I hope you find this site useful for you and I wish you the best of luck.

  4. Hi..just came across your blog. It is so great your working on a book..can you say what it is about? I would love to do that.

  5. Oh man, yeah, the OCDs make it tough to mix anything with my usual meds. But when push comes to shove, I ditch the cold meds first. One thing I know is my colds suck more with mind med withdrawl on top of it. So I'm with 74degrees on this one. I'd call the pharmacy or whatever and see if there are any issues combining the drugs. I'd also probably check with my pdoc's office. I'd hate to be in a position I couldn't take my regular meds. They are hard enough to take on their own, normally. Hope you fell better very very soon.
    Adventures in Anxiety Land

  6. I have to admit, stopping my meds was not such a great idea! I will need to take another note of that for future use.

    Thank you all for the well wishes! I am back to normal, breathing as normal and energy levels are back to normal, well, as normal as they can be with ocd and depression!

    The book is coming along, slowly. If I could sum up what it is about.. all in one word it would be 'Madness' .. if 3 words, 'Complete and utter madness!'

  7. or well, thats 4 words ;) madness, isn't it!


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