The holidays will take their own toll and that is there gift to me and it is one that I wish that I could re gift but I would feel far too guilty to hand it over to another poor soul!
I am going to just have to accept that as much as I love holidays my anxiety is not keen on the change and I am going to need to start to get into some better habits of dealing with the changes in routines when it comes to the holidays. I need more self discipline. I used to have so much of it that I could have lent some out and I would not have missed it. I am not going to fall into the same trap next year when it comes to the holidays. I will get up the same time each morning, 6:30am and I will go to bed the same time every night 10:30pm and if I want to go to bed earlier, that is alright because I will waste no time in opening up my latest read.
I hate change in routine and yet some how I have changed my routine to the point that my anxiety is at an all time high and the temptation to find a 'safe zone' in some daft place in my flat to curl up into to escape the stress but instead I am going to force back my routine, I know that I would be happy, well, happier to have the routine and with the routine there is no chance of me wasting any precious time that I will not get back. At least with the sleep deprivation I have not wasted much time laying awake. My mind races and I have many thoughts that I think are important and I try so hard to remember but come morning I can only remember bits and pieces of them and they make no sense. However, keeping a notebook and pen beside the bed means that when I have these extraordinary thoughts I can write them down and so I did and they are as irrational as my OCD! They are mind boggling and creative and almost genius.
Alright, well. Nick has made me my breakfast this morning and it is being served. Scrambled eggs, potato scone and toast and the second of many cups of tea for today!
Oh my, I hope you get back to your routine soon! Enjoy your breakfast! :D
ReplyDeleteSounds like a yummy breakfast!
ReplyDeleteRoutine is ever so important for us. Part of my problem over break was lack of a good consistent routine. In that sense, I'm glad to be back to work and in my predictable boring old routine :-)
I'm so glad you figured out what you need to do to keep OCD in check! Keep at it! What's funny is that for me, I am terrified of routine. I try to never do anything the same way twice because I am afraid of slipping back into ritual. If I try and do something the same as I did it the day before, even bedtime, I feel like I need to try again because it wasn't exactly the same. I think that is how I found myself spending hours at night wandering the same circle through my house checking, touching, and counting, then doing it all again because it wasn't exactly like the day before and didn't feel right. So I avoid routine. But I find it interesting that OCD can keep us under control in all different ways. The good news is that we get to step up to it and kick it in the balls. That is something I will do routinely. Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteI have the issue with routine becoming ritual. That's why when my routine gets changed, it flips me out and raises my anxiety. I need to learn to get out of routines and do away with them. I need to learn to live without them and stop relying on them to make me feel less anxious.
ReplyDelete